i usually only post on here when i have no where to go. my ex girlfriend i have notice is sorta of a attention whore. she puts the pictures up that would attract attention. i believe its because her parents dont give enough attention or whatever it is. also everyday i talk to her my heartbeat races and i really cant breathe sometimes but i do it so i get sometime to try to fix what was broken. i do love her with all my heart and i just dont know what to do anymore. im broken and just need to be fixed. should i just give up. i given everything i can to try to fix it but it just seems that none of it will even scratch the surface. i am afraid that if she keeps going at the pace she is she will get hurt by others. these other guys are going to try to take advantage of her and due to her nature of not wanting to be hated by others. she also wanted time to be free. in cases of drinking and smoking. my question is what if she likes it then she will continue to do it and then when it comes time to do something important she wont. we all make choices. i did all these things once but when i knew that life if more important and to staying clean is the answer to getting a good job. that was when i chose to stop living a free life and living for the future.this whole social media thing has gone to a new level with her. to the point where she will ignore the other around her. i would rather have 10 close friend than 100 internet friends. who am i to tell her what to do. she doesn’t care anymore. when im with her and i get a message unless its an important message then i just ignore it. i hope one day she realizes this that i was not trying to be the controlling boyfriend. i was trying to help her make it in life and show her the errors of my ways to improve her. she will probably never see this. i just want her to love me again. i guess this is desperation to the maximum level. well thank you tumblr followers for listening.